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The Second Most Important Thing to Give Your Child

by Lola Jensen

Being the person in charge of the family’s dessert (even if it’s pretend-food and it’s made of wood), and helping Mum reorganise the living room drawers – those are the things that really boost a child’s sense of self-worth. And precisely self-worth is such a precious childhood gift, says family advisor, Lola Jensen. Read on to get her tips on how to inspire self-worth in your child.   


  • Unconditional love is the most important thing you can give your child. 
  • The second most important thing is showing your little one that they matter to their family.  
  • Self-worth is the foundation for becoming a well-balanced, social, and empathetic adult.  
  • Inspire self-worth in your child by:  
    • Including your little one in everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, and laundering.  
    • Acknowledging your child’s unique personality, hobbies, and potentials.  
    • Praising the event, not your child, to teach your child the right kind of focus.  

Why Self-Worth is So Important 

Unconditional love is without a doubt the most important thing you can give your child. The second most important thing is showing your little one that he or she matters to others, says family advisor, Lola Jensen. In her 37 years working as a family advisor, she has met hundreds of children, and here’s what she has observed:  

“When children feel they can really contribute with something of value to their family they are more likely to develop into well-balanced adults who are sociable and empathetic. As adults, they are great with other people, and at the same time, they are also able to enjoy their own company.”  

Ideas for Inspiring Self-Worth in your Child 

There are a couple of things you can do to inspire self-worth in your child. Here are Lola Jensen’s easy-to-remember pointers: 

Include your child in everyday tasks:

Common household tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundering, and gardening are excellent activities for building little children’s self-worth. You can almost see it on your child; how their body posture straightens and their eyes glow with pride from solving real grown-up tasks, like putting the dirty clothes in the washing machine. Never mind the clothes goes in and out of the washing machine a couple of times, and some might even end up in the tumble dryer. You can put everything in the right place later but wait until your little one has gone to bed.  

Acknowledge your child’s unique personality:

Above all, show your son or daughter how much you appreciate them for being who they are. If your little son starts to fall behind on his reading skills, but you know he is really into carnivorous plants, try to focus first on growing this hobby. With a newfound faith in himself, it’s much easier for him to take on the challenge of learning to read. Perhaps there’s a book on carnivorous plants you can explore together? 

Praise your child’s relations to others: 

When you highlight all the great things your child does in relation to others, it enhances your child’s sense of self-worth. Your little one learns “I’m actually really important to others.” So, the next time your son holds the door for someone, you could try rephrasing “what a great job you did!” and say instead “you really made that lady happy because you held the door for her.” It will boost his sense of self-worth right there and then.  

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